Observations in two hours:
A drunk guy staggering by my house.
A guy driving a tow truck totally rocking out.
A woman wearing nothing but five spinning tassels.
A grey haired lady wearing a t-shirt that said “I love BJ” on it.
A short guy with cool clown shoes on but horrible clown make-up.
A bunch of people in random silverish helmet type things on their heads.
A couple in a Saturn in front of me at a drive thru chuck trash out the car door.
A black man begging for money to get to a shelter promising he will pay it forward.
A guy scrunched down outside a McDonald’s window taking pictures of someone inside.
My friend is in a marching band called Chaotic Noise Marching Corp. I have been wanting to see him perform for a while now but just haven’t made the time. My feet were tired and my neck and shoulders were sore from painting a vaulted ceiling, but something told me tonight was the night to get out. I wanted to surprise him so I went on Facebook to see what event he had responded to tonight and I saw that he RSVP’d to an event called “SHAKE YOUR BRASS II – Get Horny for HONK!” at the Columbia City Theater in Seattle. I showed up at about 9pm and didn’t see him so I got a beer, sat in the back, and waited. I’m such a stalker that way.
There was a couple in front of me dancing and having so much of a ball, I was almost envious. They seemed very much in love, or very high on something, I couldn’t tell which. Although he had a very grey mustache and even grey arm hair, the skin on his face looked like it was 30 years old; I was impressed and intrigued. I wondered what kind of genes would make hair so grey but keep skin looking so youthful. He held on tight to his wife who had extremely thick and wavy grey hair, almost triangular in shape because it was so thick, and very hip style glasses that didn’t match her hippie vibe at all. However, it was the “I love BJ” t-shirt that had me puzzled. Did she have that shirt made or did she happen to find it on a clothing rack somewhere? It was odd enough that someone her age was wearing this shirt when I would think you would typically see someone in high school wearing it… well, maybe when she was in high school – oh wait, maybe she bought it in high school, and this is her high school sweetheart she is still with, and this is the same shirt that she has been wearing since they met at the hometown carnival where she bought the shirt; it is entirely possible, I thought. As I started to chuckle at the revelation in my head, I freaked out a little when I saw clown shoes clampering (is that a word?) toward me. I thought they were kind of cool until I looked up and saw the horrible make up job this guy did, and then I suddenly didn’t want to laugh at all anymore.
The beer was really hitting me hard because I was so tired and I think I actually zonked out for a bit because I felt myself jerking quickly when I thought my camera was falling from my lap. Just then, a beautiful woman strolled passed me wearing a shimmering white dress that was so tight and form-fitting that she looked like a mermaid angel. She was headed toward the stage as the MC announced her specialty was twirling five tassels all at once. This I had to see, so I stood up and watched in awe as this woman performed with such class, yet also with good old fashioned fun. It was very odd to watch this amazing and beautifully dressed woman on stage, while looking past the marching band that would be performing next. They were all decked out in random silvery clothes and helmets of sorts that ranged from sequins to reflective material to a beat up looking bicycle helmet. It was quite a contrast to the shimmering white angel on stage.
I was starting to wonder if my friend was coming as it was getting close to 10pm so I gave up on the surprise idea and texted him. Turns out he was performing at another event; who knew there would be two marching band events on the same night? As much as I wanted to stay and watch the silver people jam out, I thought I would call it a night. Just before I got to my car a black man approached me and asked me if I ever thought of doing a good deed. I nearly laughed out loud. If I had a dollar for every good deed I have done in just the past five years; well I’d have a lot of dollars, I will just say that. Hell, I could think of five good deeds I did just that day. He was a big husky guy; about 6’3” I’d say, and actually good looking I must also admit. I let him continue on with his well-rehearsed pitch as I smiled with the thought of all the good deeds I had already done in my life that I felt good about as I reached in my purse past the expensive camera I was holding and gave him about 80 cents in change. He noticed my camera so I expected him to scoff at the change, but instead he seemed quite thankful, which made me smile even more.
I was almost home when I realized that I needed a hot fudge sunday from McDonald’s. The drive-thru line was long and packed but I figured it would go fast. I figured wrong. I was just about to lay my head on the steering wheel for a minute or two to rest my tired back when the passenger in the car in front of me opened his door and chucked a bunch of trash out the door; right in front of me and within sight of at least three cars behind me. What the hell? I thought for a minute that maybe I had drifted off to sleep and I must have dreamt it, but then they turned up their rap music really loud and hopped around in the car like idiots on crack. I’m so glad I was never that dumb when I was young; at least I’d like to think I wasn’t. Truth be told, I was most likely worse, I don’t remember. That’s the nice thing about getting old I guess, the memory of how stupid you were when you were young somehow disappears.
I got my hot fudge sunday which was as melted as I figured it would be given that I was in the drive-thru line for at least 12 minutes. As I pulled away I was thinking I had seen enough interesting things tonight and was relieved to be heading home. Just then, something caught my eye. There was a little man scrunched down hiding against the corner of the outside of the restaurant holding camera with an extremely expensive telephoto lens shooting pictures of something inside. Of course my eye instantly looked up to see what he was shooting and I saw a man with his arm tight around a young woman inside while waiting in line to order. Next to the camera man outside was a tall thin woman with her arms crossed looking very angry. I’m pretty sure I just witnessed the making of Exhibit A in soon to be scheduled divorce hearing.
I held my melted ice cream ever so carefully so it would not spill as I put on my blinker to turn down my road when something in the oncoming vehicle got my attention. The driver was wearing a reflective gear type jacket. The jacket must have been really dark because all I saw was the reflective stuff moving in frantic motions. My eyes popped open wide as I thought he was waving for me to get out of the way, having a heart attack, or possibly pretending his giant tow truck was a rollercoaster jerking him side-to-side and up and down. No, he was dancing; sadly, as tired as I was, I recognized that he was doing the Cabbage Patch. But wait, that’s not all; as I sat down to drink my ice cream, I looked out my second story window to watch a drunken dude, barely able to walk, stumbling down the road. Mind you, the closest bar to my house is about three miles away.
Today is Easter Sunday. With any luck, I will see some normal things today, like hard boiled eggs decorated with colored lines and spots, a person in a bunny suit waving their arms advertising a tax preparation business, and maybe even some images of a bloody, beaten and stabbed, but loving man nailed to a cross. I haven’t watched an entire TV program in about five years and I really don’t see the need to start any time soon; I get plenty of entertainment by just observing real people and the odd things they observe.
Addendum: As I read this a final time before sharing it with the world, yet another super drunk or high looking dude staggered down the road in front of my house dancing to music only he could hear in his head. It is 7:45am on Easter Sunday. Is it just me or are we going to hell in a handbasket?